Ride of the Valkyries

Brunnhilde the Valkyrie, 1910, by Robert Conrad
Brunnhilde the Valkyrie, 1910, by Arthur Rackham

Musical prelude: Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries

My orgasmic experience in the sex chair was lovely and fierce: an exhilarating liberation of the shame I felt as a non-orgasmic femme. Like a warrior Valkyrie, off to Valhalla I metaphorically sent my fear of sexual dysfunction and with it, my chronic anorgasmia.

As I focused on personal orgasmic quests, I experienced minor tremors riding a dildo fastened to the toilet seat lid. But it required some prep time, and I’m always running late. Most euphoric sex requires sufficient stimulation of the lady bits to engorge and prepare the clitoris and vagina for orgasmic contact. I experimented with methods to achieve stronger orgasms with less masturbation time, but knew my clit would not be denied.

My modus operandi was the use of a powerful vibrator pressed to my clit and teasingly around the perimeter of my vulva. I squealed when I pressed down on the hood of my clit and forced it to the left side of my labia.

This Swiss movement sent ripples of excitement down the internal wishbone shaft of my clit and excited my vaginal opening. After several minutes of intense clit stimulation, I massaged the length of my pussy lips with the vibrator and began circling my vigi. When I could no longer withstand the aching need, I slid the screaming vibrator into my pussy and paused to experience the tingling full-genital sensation.

I steadily rode that cock till vaginal orgasm claimed my pelvic nerves and all of my conscious senses.

 

Often, clit stim alone caused me to cum multiple times before navigating toward my pussy, and once anchored in that wet port, I was sufficiently swelled and ached for that thick dildo fuck. I slowly lowered myself onto the dildo, feeling it stretching my pussy and spreading my insides wide. I steadily rode that cock till vaginal orgasm claimed my pelvic nerves and all of my conscious senses.

I knew I had experienced a mild vaginal orgasm, and I recognized the importance of prolonged genital stimulation in facilitating sexual nirvana, but I remained unsatisfied. I longed for an explosive full-body orgasm that exponentially increased my experience.

I excelled in toilet-dong-riding, but my mechanics were flawed. The physical riding strength required for orgasm often exceeded my mortal abilities. I needed to save my thighs the arduous and exhausting thrusting needed to power my pussy sufficiently over the edge. I longed for an improved masturbation method that cut preparation time, yet still delivered a full-body convulsive experience.

Employing the Yankee ingenuity often required for significant discovery lead me to orgasmic mechanical success. Combining the aforementioned George Foreman Grille, a simple sex chair, and my favorite dildo enabled me to break free of terra firma and ride triumphantly among the mythical Valkyries.

Favorite dildo: Fun Factory Tiger – Eden Fantasys

I attached my favorite dildo to the plastic lid of the George Foreman Grille and slid the apparatus under my sex chair. I appropriately lubed the dong, caressed it as I would a hand-job on a hard cock, and fantasized about my imminent fuck-in-waiting. And now that I was easily squirting from clit or G-spot stimulation, I could forego the extensive foreplay previously needed to plateau.

With vibrator in hand, I spread my legs, sat down, and started rubbing the standing dildo around my pussy lips. I thought of my lover’s cock and my vigi twitched in anticipation. I quickly pushed the dong into my eager place and lowered my throbbing pussy onto it. The rush of that cock sliding deep inside me, spreading me wide and stimulating every inch of my vagina was extraordinary. So full, so invasively deep, I moaned and paused my descent when the dildo reached my deep spot.

A fuck this extraordinary had to be savored and enhanced, elevating it to the epiphany I sought. Applying the vibrator to my clit against the fullness of the balls-deep dildo triggered the urge to ride: a primordial need to fuck hard, fast, and deliberately. I began bouncing, riding, and grinding that cock till I slipped into a Zen meditative state. The vibrations saturated my pelvic region as I slowly gained speed, the angle I needed, and the exact physics I sought.

Caught between consciousness and the surreal, I was bewitched by the aura of a pending full-body vaginal orgasm.

 

After a vigorous 15-minute ride, something incredible was evolving. The deep, internal throb of the vibe, combined with an exact, consistent thrusting motion, set my vaginal wall abuzz. With head thrown back, mouth ajar, and eyes watering, I felt a divine flush, absolute bliss, and an uncontrollable urge. Caught between consciousness and the surreal, I was bewitched by the aura of a pending full-body vaginal orgasm. I squeezed my PC muscle hard and immediately succumbed to a frenetic series of muscle spasms, all of which were beyond my control.

The internal tendrils of my clitoris erupted at my pussy, grew in intensity, and electrified my vulva before turning inward and jarring my vaginal walls with an epic spasm. I sat squealing and helpless as my legs shook and the jolt exploded every genital member and rushed deep into my pelvis.

My pussy and ass convulsed two or three times as I danced the phenomenon that overtook and exorcised my body. Convulsing in waves of impulses, my body shook like a rag doll. Enraptured, astonished, and paralyzed against it, I had experienced an out of body, extra-sensory experience.

The aftershock stunned me briefly. I melted into my chair in an exhausted heap: awestruck, limp, exalted – a goddess. Venus had granted the sublime, ethereal gift, and my glazed eyes saw the Valkyries.

COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Get your own Tiger at Eden Fantasys! See my Affiliates page for a link. 

Dildo Riding and the Sex Chair

The art of chair-based dildo riding.

Before scoring a near 100 percent success rate in achieving vaginal orgasm in my sex chair, I experimented with several dildo riding techniques with various results. I found that attaching a dildo to the toilet lid was the most successful mount for me, and it was my go-to masturbation method for a while. But it had its foibles.

In time, and getting cocky (pun intended), I tried to cut corners and spend less time stimulating my clit and vigi and aim straight for the prize. Consequently, I experienced fewer orgasms, demonic frustration, and squished the lactic acid out of my thighs.

I needed a new masturbation technique: a fool-proof method to get me there while reducing the (so-far) necessary 15 minutes of clit/vigi stimulation to reach a climactic plateau. I knew the up and down riding motion was the vaginal stimulation I needed, but my middle-aged thighs often failed me at the cusp of the divine goal. Shoot me now in my epic anguish.

I needed help in a mechanical way and I knew a simple compound machine may resolve my relentless sexual angst and orgasm envy. I talked long-suffering hubby into buying me a sex chair: a simple frame stool of bended metal, traversed by elastic bands. Logically, the rider deposits his or her ass on the contraption and bounces toward sexual nirvana.

Designed for partner use in achieving near zero-gravity sexual positions, the sex chair is a useful tool for female riders, threesome fun, or oral sex of nearly any anatomical combination. The elastic bands afford endless opportunities for contortionist or kinky sex play while saving the quads those exhausting workouts achievable only by world-class gymnasts.

My goal was in reach. I needed a companion piece to the sex stool to achieve my intended result – a raised flat surface suitable for hosting a dildo with a suction base. In a crazed frenzy, I searched the four corners of my house for a portable smooth surface where I could launch my new masturbation experiment.

Fast forward into the kitchen. As I labored and sweat those dreadful 15 minutes cooking chicken breasts in the George Foreman Grille, it hit me. The answer to my exhaustive search – the perilous exploration of closets and the scientific excavation of the garage – lay directly in front of me.

Casting a reflective glint of the setting sun through the kitchen window, lay the holy grail of sex toys – the Nobel Prize of masturbation technology – a smooth surface necessary for dildo suction bases. Assuming center stage of my masturbation repertoire, the glorious plastic bun warmer cover of my George Foreman Grille completed my sex machine.

My dildo attached perfectly to the plastic lid of the grille which I clamped down with a bungee cord. Sliding the contraption under the sex stool, I was ready to climb aboard and bounce like a maniac. I had created a perfect  masturbation machine for my needs and in the process, forever altered my chronic anorgasmic state.

After a brief intermission, I’ll return to describe vaginal orgasm as I experienced it riding on George’s coattails.

COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 

 

Yankee Ingenuity

After pinpointing my G-spot, the next step, naturally, was to lavishly entertain it. Research and development of a sustainable masturbation technique was a rigorous, fatiguing, and sometimes riotous process. But seek and ye shall find.

Masturbation tool kit. – Aries Blake

I experimented with known masturbation techniques to little avail. Fucking your pussy with a dildo on the bed is fun until carpel tunnel kills the buzz. Riding a dildo stuck to the floor or shower wall is for 18 year-old gymnasts and contortionists respectively. Riding a dildo attached to the toilet seat can and does cause orgasms in the rider. This method, however, requires the quad strength of a power lifter and my best squatting days are vague memories.

After an exhaustive period of trial and error, I haphazardly employed an ingenious use for the iconic George Foreman Grille in my masturbation repertoire.  The grille’s plastic lid, that simple three-cent piece of petrochemical engineering, now held the power of my orgasm. My pet name for this new giver of pleasure was “The Vaginator,” and my idolatrous devotion was complete.

Stay tuned; on Monday, I will reveal homespun technology for combining a simple cooking machine and a sex chair to facilitate powerful vaginal orgasms.

COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Prelude to Masturbation Odyssey: Part 2 – The G-spot

It’s predictable, typical, ordained. Like the certainty of dawn, it happens. You’re doing the nasty while preoccupied with the dishwasher, or your crass boss. Maybe it’s an obnoxious rat terrier barking in the next yard or that fucking speeding ticket: anything, everything but orgasm. For the love of god, end this eternal misery. Five hundred nagging, incessant pings in your brain, and your man wants sex. We did this last year. Is there no end to my earthly suffering? Why in the hell does he insist on licking my vagina?

If this scenario sounds remotely familiar, I’m speaking to you. This is sex for many women. You’re banging her hard. You’re sweating. You work furiously for an existential two minutes, shoot your load, and collapse beside her. She murmurs something congratulatory and darts into the bathroom to pee and rid her pussy of your love gun load.

Sex is a demand response for many women. They don’t enjoy it, they don’t feel sexy, and they’re not talking about it. But consider this: as she runs to the bathroom to pee, it’s possible she was close to ejaculating without realizing it. Sexual stimulation of the female G-spot in the vagina causes the genital area to swell with fluid, and expelling this fluid through the urethra (not the vagina) is female ejaculation.

If the sex education gods cared, we would know this. If we were taught anything about female sexual anatomy and stimulation response, we could’ve been sex goddesses sometime in our prime. Those women truly blessed by the sex gods experience vaginal orgasm naturally, but for most of us lacking this ability, twisted Puritanical thinking and repressive sexual mores keep us ignorant of even the slightest sexual pleasures.

Fast forward to the female G-Spot, located on the top wall of the vagina below the pubic bone, just one or two inches inside the vaginal opening. To those women seeking to experience vaginal orgasm, it’s imperative to make acquaintance with your “G.” Learn to masturbate and awaken the sensations of this area and you will be navigating toward female ejaculation and vaginal orgasm.

COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Twitter Feeds

Coming this week is the second installment of my Masturbation Odyssey, this time focusing on the discovery of my very own G-spot: that erogenous pleasure zone that transforms masturbation and sex into orgasm. If you don’t “do” the G-spot, it’s unlikely that you are having vaginal orgasms, unless you are stimulating a deeper spot of the vagina.

Some doubt its existence, some doubt its importance, but to remain indifferent to the G-spot is to have never discovered it. If you take anything away from Sexualista, I hope it’s an animalistic desire to awaken and trigger this elusive spot of the female anatomy.  Every woman deserves this sexual pleasure, but some homework of the masturbation kind is required.

Meantime, I’d like to share a few of my posts on Twitter.com as Sexualista1. Twitter affords me an opportunity to post little snippets of what I’m reading or thinking about on any given day. Too many topics to possibly blog about, so tapping out brief tweets keeps the conversation moving. I hope to stand out from the sexpack, rather than wither away like uninspired oral sex. A few of my recent tweets follow:

Chivalrous guys are a modern marvel and hot as hell. It pays to be a damsel in a tight dress.

We are hungry, curious voyeurs of erotica: hence the profitable feed of romance novels, erotic fiction, and porn. We orgasm vicariously.

A confident alpha male will win the girl. Women anticipate satisfying sex with assertive guys and can’t resist their charms.

A full-body vaginal orgasm convulses the entire core of a woman’s body, causing involuntary spasms and constricts the vagina and the anus.

Reports say sexual dissatisfaction ruins nearly half of all marriages and leads to infidelity in 50% of relationships. Join the conversation.

“…people are in denial of their sexual issues, so the first step to overcoming your sexual repression is to admit it…” – Eyal Matsliah

Most people want to please their sexual partners, but you have to show up and speak up about what turns you on.

No two women will define orgasm the same – women explain it according to their experience and cultural conditioning. 

There are few things more pleasurable that tracing your clit with a powerful vibrator then squealing and squirting in rapture! Wow!

Seduce her so well that sucking your cock is HER idea. Never shove it in her face unless you’re the sex god who can make her cum. Boorish.

A sexy, seductive woman is a lovely, feminine creature to watch. She is confident, fearless, and moves like a ballet in your soul.

With a cultural perception that sex should be orgasmic, we fear a label of “dysfunctional,” “frigid,” or “broken”.

A silent partner works in the business world, but it’s a turn-off during sex. Subtle moaning is very sensuous and arousing. Make some noise.

Sexperts assume that women are naturally open to orgasmic stimulation. Transition from sexual repression to liberation is a gigantic leap.

Shopping for a vibrator is a no-brainer. Skip the battery-powered toys and splurge on a more powerful rechargeable model. Viva la orgasm!

The excruciating moment when you’re about to orgasm, and your vibrator quits. Buzzkill. Shoot me now.

Achieving orgasm is the last frontier for many women. For anorgasmic women, achieving orgasm is a pivotal experience.

Sex is subjective and only empirical to you. Question everything. Inquire. Explore. Own it.

Now that lesbianism is the hot norm, bicurious sex among straight men is the new chic. Hot topic among the liberati.

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Odd One Out at the Fuckfest

Before I move on to Masturbation Odyssey: Part 2 – the journey into my orgasm groove – I’m pausing to ponder where the ladies are hiding. I’m hearing excellent feedback from the guys, but the fems are noticeably absent from the conversation. It’s frequently noted that many women guard their sex lives with armor plating and are reticent to discuss orgasm or masturbation.

Many men have similar reservations. The “sex issue,” so prevalent a flash point among couples, is a complicated thorn and a prickly pear debate. I noted earlier in Sexualista that sexual dissatisfaction is under-reported with many couples because no one wants to be the odd one out at the fuckfest. Mass media portends that orgasmic sex is the benchmark in a culture where 75 percent of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex. Seventy-five percent!

Convulsing, vaginal orgasms are not the norm or even median result of sexual intercourse for three-quarters of women. With a cultural “perception” that all sex should be orgasmic, we fear being labeled “dysfunctional,” “frigid,” or broken. Instead of addressing it, we consume it. We love reading or watching great sex. We are hungry, curious voyeurs of erotic acts: hence the profitable feed of romance novels, erotic fiction, and porn.

The demands on a woman’s time and attention usually preclude any serious study of female anatomy and orgasm how-to’s. Researching G-spot stimulation and masturbation techniques rate low on the bucket list when loved ones are sick, your job sucks, or the dog’s throwing up. Without the time or inclination to research sex education and learn sexual triggers through masturbation, we’re clueless about the orgasmic process and personal sexual needs.

Speaking for many, one woman wrote: “I’m 55 and I’ve never had an orgasm. This sucks!”

The few ladies I’ve heard from report they have never achieved orgasm or they started to experience it later in life with the attention of an interested, attentive partner – a key component, they said, adding it takes time, practice, and a patient partner to help them get there.

It’s a team effort (she AND he) to achieve orgasm. It requires her eager, receptive mind and the right skills to tailor foreplay activity to stimulating her favorite lady bits. Without having a basic game plan for achieving orgasm, she’s 10th row deep at the fuckfest and not talking.

Ladies, trust me, many guys want to sexually please their partners, but you have to show up, speak up, and chart some personal exploration so you can convey with conviction what turns you on.

The gents, meanwhile, are talking. Their perspective is intuitive, sexy, and interesting. Guys I’m hearing from are attuned to women’s sexuality and like to please, but they are sometimes frustrated by women’s lack of sexual prowess, even among more sexually open fems.

A few from the guys:

“It isn’t even so much about women who are sexually open-minded as much as women who are not sexually repressing their preferences. I realize this is a matter of semantics….but to me, suppression means a woman (most women) are actively disallowing themselves to even consider what gets their pussy wet,” said P.

“I get highly turned on by a woman who has total command of her body – her wants and desires and freely expresses herself. Not afraid to say what she wants and more than willing to show me what gets her off and what turns her off,” said V.

“Having that attitude actually turns me on more, wanting to give her exactly what she needs.”

V added: “I have learned over the years when speaking with some of my friends that most guys (only) care about themselves. Basically, the “I got mine – you get yours” attitude. And we wonder why women, sooner than later, get turned off by sex.”

COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED