The Alpha Male as I See Him


Vitruvian Man, DaVinci, 1490


“When you play, play hard; when you work, don’t play at all.”

“We are face to face with our destiny and we must meet it with high and resolute courage. For us is the life of action, of strenuous performance of duty; let us live in the harness, striving mightily; let us rather run the risk of wearing out than rusting out.”

Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt
26th President of the United States (1858 – 1919)

The “alpha male.” Thoughts of great men in history come to mind: military genius; celebrated athletes; business giants, and urban legends. Men whose shoes were too big to fill: indomitable spirits trailed by epic legacies and social change. Men blessed with dreams, ability, and fortitude: the stuff that makes history fascinating, tangible, and human.

It is estimated that one to 10 percent of men are alpha males and they are not concerned with rivaling historical figures. I think their bravado is manifested through their quiet wisdom, strength of character, and charismatic allure.

Recent articles I’ve read celebrate the alpha male and encourage men to reclaim the mantle of leadership and respect in their relationships, families, and work. Feminist issues remain at the forefront of social change while men decry disenfranchisement and marginalization. Media advertising targets women as if to minimalize a guy’s input in consumer and family decision-making.

Men are losing ground as social and family leaders. What is the status of contemporary masculinity? Is the alpha male facing extinction? Masculinity may be passé and oppressive in some circles, however, ask any woman who changes her flat tires and bags bats in the attic.

Risking slight ridicule among their feminist friends, women are hesitant to voice an attraction to strong, confident men in a “Me Too” culture. But ask women why they read beefcake romance novels and who they fantasize about sexually. Trust me; it’s not the wimpy, milquetoast neighbor.

Donald Trump capitalized on America’s nostalgia for the tough guy and swaggered his John Wayne ass right into the White House.

While politically correct Americans wrote him off and gasped at Trump’s “real man” rhetoric, something clicked in the social collective. We hadn’t seen alpha warriors like Teddy Roosevelt and Harry Truman in the Oval Office in generations and we missed them.

Like Walt Whitman, I too, glorify the “body electric” of healthy, strong men, but I do it cautiously with respect to the subjugation, violence, and sexual harassment women experience from men.

Millennia of social history records female oppression in patriarchal societies and the resulting anger is percolating to the surface in this age of the man-bashing, pissed-off female.

Feminism contributed to man-shaming and the current male conscientious quieting of their hormone-influenced reactions. Testosterone levels in men are decreasing, according to media reports. Advertising portrays women as family decision-makers and matriarchal leaders, while men trail the family pack haplessly fumbling with diaper bags.

The demise of masculinity in our social interactions and media trends notches a benchmark in our cultural conditioning. However, I believe the phenomena of the alpha male exists in rare sightings. He is quietly struggling to maintain footing – at least in western culture ablur with electronic squalls of consumerism and egocentric self-righteousness.

It’s a broad and fascinating topic. The alpha man assumes varying identities in every forum; we envision him subjectively, as we desire him to be. Women crave the strength and guidance of a strong male partner but ride the dude-bashing bandwagon in social circles.

Evolutionary psychologists are better equipped to study the demotion of men to lower beta status. I imagine in time, the strong alpha male will reclaim his family authority, his honor, and his rightful place defending the weak and vulnerable during in the zombie apocalypse. While waiting for the hero to reclaim his berth, I’ll share a few thoughts on my fantasy of the contemporary alpha man.

I’m going to quickly buzz through the modern alpha man so I can get to the good stuff – the alpha lover – my fantasy guy!

Recent articles portray the alpha as a Renaissance man: self-disciplined and self-actualized; sincere and emotionally mature; composed, wise, sympathetic, and unyielding in principle. Other characteristics include: confidence; chivalry; respectfulness; protective; ethical; self-assured and unflappable.

He is a natural leader and a dispenser of sage advice. He stands apart from lower order beta males, and he EARNS the respect of colleagues, friends, and family. Alpha males are never complacent; they progressively work to improve situations, troubleshoot problems, and bridge cracks in the concrete.

An alpha male values his health and vitality and takes care of himself, physically and emotionally. He is respected and valued on the job for his strong work ethic and clear head, and he leads by example. This guy assists others in succeeding through positive reinforcement rather than totalitarian rule. In social situations, he is composed, poised, and always in control. He is not loud, attention-seeking, or easily intimidated.

Common traits and characteristics of alpha males easily set them apart from their beta brothers and their reserved composure is striking. There are exceptions. Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt, the alpha Rough Rider cavalry president and big game hunter, was a boisterous man who busted up ironclad monopolies buttressed by billions of dollars.

As a volunteer military man, he charged a section of San Juan Hill in Cuba during the 1898 Spanish American War. Years later, as a third party “Bull Moose” candidate, he ignored an assassin’s bullet lodged in his chest to finish a campaign speech.

The alpha man will authoritatively step up to protect his family and his interests. Mastery of jujitsu or street fighting tactics isn’t necessary as he is skilled in de-escalating tensions through diplomacy and words chosen wisely. But if faced with a physical response, his masculine strength and quick thinking can prevail.

He strives to maximize his talents and prides himself on performance in all matters. Women are so confident in him, that they may take him for granted, yet he treats his partner with admiration and respect without feeling vulnerable.

Though he is bedrock stability in daily life, behind closed doors, he rolls with seismic sexuality.

Like the sexual allure of a bad boy, the alpha male promises a top-shelf romp in the sack. His sexual confidence and skill exudes a seductive aphrodisiac sure to please the most discerning of women. I imagine him bewitching his partner and she can’t resist; locking eyes with him stirs the loins.

He’s horny and he knows exactly the kind of sex he wants. He doesn’t ask permission. He subdues her with kisses, caresses, and powerful hands. He knows the power of conquest and her ache to be desired, taken, and deliberately ravished. He knows how to please a woman. He’s done his homework, honed his technique, and she knows it. She’s a very lucky woman.

This very sexual man will laser-focus his attention on her and she will know she is strongly desired, safe, and goddess sexy.

She is instantly smitten, submissive, and aching for him to touch her there. He talks aggressively to her, bends her head to the side, and kisses her neck while unbuttoning her blouse and  unwrapping her body. She shivers slightly as her skin meets the air, then warms to the firm touch of his hands on her arms, shoulders, and back.

He looks directly into her eyes as he kisses her hard, unfastens her bra, and lets it slip away as he lightly slides a finger over her hardening nipple and begins massaging her breast. His cock is hard and he teases her, unbuttoning his pants, slowly pushing them down, revealing his hard, determined, and unforgiving cock.

She reaches toward his groin to touch him, but he pushes her hand away, flips her onto her back, raises her hips, and begins grinding his cock against her ass and throbbing pussy. As she moans in anticipation, he powerfully presses a finger through her panties and into her pussy, slowly circling her wet hole. Reaching under her belly and into her panties, he penetrates her again, deeper, and tells her he’s going to fuck her deep and hard. She is conquered, submissive, and subdued.

…….These are the confident moves of an alpha lover. He doesn’t beg, he seduces. He knows what she wants and he eagerly provides. He never initiates sex lying on his back, expecting cock service from her; she willingly offers it. His strong desire to take her fuels a passion stirring them both to erotic heights, and he fucks with intense creativity. He is the best lover she’ll ever know, and he lingers in her mind, intoxicating her soul.