The seer was right. She was spot on! Even more, she predicted the fucking lifequake I was about to experience. I wanted to believe her droning on about my star sign planet alignments and that my life was jetting toward an asteroid belt; I craved a navigational challenge. I needed a new thrill: an enema to flush the bullshit, an emotional afterburn trailing an adrenaline rush.

Suddenly 50-something: aimless, burned out, blacked out, and void. I saw my best years wizz by like lightning bolts against an angry sky with little energy to greet the erupting dawn.

She and I parted ways when she omitted whether this tumult would disrupt my financial, professional, or love life unless I parted with an additional $59.99.


Don your inner goddess.

I’m tweeting this morning about awakening your inner Goddess. Ladies, employ some Femdom to get the foreplay you know you crave and deserve. NO MORE COCK SUCKING UNTIL YOU CUM FIRST. Reward him well and he’ll cum around. It’s that simple. Soon enough, he’ll get the effin’ picture and you’ll be on your way to some torrid sex. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Without some inkling of passion, some erotic interest, we lay there and take it, hoping he finishes before we forget to turn on the dishwasher. And you can hardly blame him; he’s horny, and unless he’s a total Neanderthal, he’s trying to please. But he needs to hear from you what you like: what turns you from an average vanilla woman into the sex-crazed nympho you fantasize about. It’s a process and an expedition into your own erogenous zone.

Until you begin to masturbate, you don’t yet know these zones. They lay dormant, uncharted, desolate. Until you stimulate and awaken your pleasure zones, you don’t know the incredible realm that awaits you. And until you experience that pleasure dome, you don’t know what trips your trigger and you can’t communicate that to your partner. Stay tuned for my own journey of masturbation – a story of one woman’s map which culminated in learning to orgasm again after too many years of thinking about the dishwasher.


Viva La Orgasm!

Until this year, I hadn’t had a full-body vaginal orgasm since college in the ‘80s and I remember it vividly. He was a fellow poet and a singer/guitar player in a band. We palled around the college party/bar circuit, smoked weed, did drugs, hung out on rooftops, and wrote poetry: a fuck buddy to me. A skinny guy with an unexpected long, thick cock: much bigger than I imagined for a slim-framed guy. I liked him and we had the hottest sex of my life at the time.

He could fuck hard and slow for seemingly hours. In a chemical frame of mind, he fucked like a poet, examining every stroke for my reaction. Watching my face as he withdrew just far enough to tease me with slight thrusts in and out, he’d plunge deep and pause as if to surveil my wet pussy. To my delight, he repeated this hot move sufficiently to swell every fold of my vigi till I ached to explode. I was fucking a god!

I remember a deep throbbing stir in my loins as he swirled the head of his cock deep around the back wall of my pussy. He swiftly pulled out, smiling down at me like a master fuck artist, and intently thrust in deep again, probing that pulsing cock around my deep spot like he was tracing the boot of Italy. I lay in a tranquil daze, absorbing and experiencing every inch of him. Soon the sex god emerged and lit me up with a neon wave of sputtering light pulsars. My pussy swallowed his cock as a blaze of electricity radiated through my groin. I gasped, wide eyed and wild; I was a goddess!

“Oh fuck!” he said, closing his eyes and rolling his head back.

“I’m going to cum!”

He pushed deeper into my pussy twice more, convulsing as he came hard and moaned something ethereal. I felt his cock twitching until he finished, sighing his last orgasmic breath. Pulling out and falling beside me, I caught his eye in my quasi-comatose state.

“Wow!!! That was incredible! What the hell did you do?”

Smiling, he said, “That was fucking cool! I came like a bastard and you were so tight!”

That was the first and only orgasm of my life until recently, and I’ll never forget it or my friend the junior sex-god-in-training. We continued to talk poetry and literature, smoke pot, and fuck the night away for a few more years in that oak-lined college haze. A friend to this day, I’ve never asked him if he remembers the night he rocked my world with that curious stellar event.

Thirty years of marriage, two kids, numerous jobs, and too many disappointments later, I thought back to that incredible orgasm and decided I will feel that ecstasy again. I asked my gynecologist if my female parts were in order because I never had orgasms. She assured me I was physically fine, suggested Kegel exercises, and researching orgasms on the net. A sexual neophyte loosed on the net. I would learn. I would masturbate. I would flirt and fuck. Refusing to fail, I set my sights on absorbing all that I could of the elusive female orgasm.

I read voraciously about female sexuality, found my G spot, conquered the tricky process of squirting, and learned the art of orgasm. Female sexual success is a learning process. Very rarely does it cum naturally for women. Don’t believe fictional female orgasm. As we’re led to believe in “Fifty Shades of Grey,” Anastasia came as she lost her virginity to Christian Grey. For most women, that’s a fallacy. Pop culture and fiction leave us feeling inadequate, frigid, broken: as if everyone is having incredible sex but us. Learning to orgasm from sex is an educational process, a personal quest, not the expected result of penetrative sex suggested in popular media.

I’ve read that 75 percent of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex, and those who do, need clitoral stimulation to get there. Many women have never examined their clitoris or located their G spot: those sensitive, rippling pleasure buttons designed solely for sexual pleasure. These key players in female sexual anatomy, once explored and stimulated, will absolutely rock your world and forever alter your sexual experience. And the quintessential art of foreplay, done correctly, is the required element to awaken these hot buttons to produce squirting and vaginal orgasms. It’s a learning process that takes time, patience, and a willing partner.

Women are tragically ripped off by not experiencing the full pleasure of sex; if I can help even one woman to get there…. In Sexualista, I will chronicle my research, observations, and my experiences in learning the art of orgasm. I’ll tell you about my middle-aged sexual journey, starting with masturbation, squirting and vaginal orgasms then my incredible transition into lifestyle sex and sexcapades with my indomitable fuck buddy. There are stories of threesomes, foursomes, orgies, bi-curious sex, and humping dildos in the magic sex chair. It’s been a hell of a ride! Stay tuned. Viva la orgasm!