“When you play, play hard; when you work, don’t play at all.”
“We are face to face with our destiny and we must meet it with high and resolute courage. For us is the life of action, of strenuous performance of duty; let us live in the harness, striving mightily; let us rather run the risk of wearing out than rusting out.”
–Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt
26th President of the United States (1858 – 1919)
The “alpha male.” Thoughts of great men in history come to mind: military genius; celebrated athletes; business giants, and urban legends. Men whose shoes were too big to fill: indomitable spirits trailed by epic legacies and social change. Men blessed with dreams, ability, and fortitude: the stuff that makes history fascinating, tangible, and human.
It is estimated that one to 10 percent of men are alpha males and they are not concerned with rivaling historical figures. I think their bravado is manifested through their quiet wisdom, strength of character, and charismatic allure.
Recent articles I’ve read celebrate the alpha male and encourage men to reclaim the mantle of leadership and respect in their relationships, families, and work. Feminist issues remain at the forefront of social change while men decry disenfranchisement and marginalization. Media advertising targets women as if to minimalize a guy’s input in consumer and family decision-making.
Men are losing ground as social and family leaders. What is the status of contemporary masculinity? Is the alpha male facing extinction? Masculinity may be passé and oppressive in some circles, however, ask any woman who changes her flat tires and bags bats in the attic.
Risking slight ridicule among their feminist friends, women are hesitant to voice an attraction to strong, confident men in a “Me Too” culture. But ask women why they read beefcake romance novels and who they fantasize about sexually. Trust me; it’s not the wimpy, milquetoast neighbor.
Donald Trump capitalized on America’s nostalgia for the tough guy and swaggered his John Wayne ass right into the White House.
While politically correct Americans wrote him off and gasped at Trump’s “real man” rhetoric, something clicked in the social collective. We hadn’t seen alpha warriors like Teddy Roosevelt and Harry Truman in the Oval Office in generations and we missed them.
Like Walt Whitman, I too, glorify the “body electric” of healthy, strong men, but I do it cautiously with respect to the subjugation, violence, and sexual harassment women experience from men.
Millennia of social history records female oppression in patriarchal societies and the resulting anger is percolating to the surface in this age of the man-bashing, pissed-off female.
Feminism contributed to man-shaming and the current male conscientious quieting of their hormone-influenced reactions. Testosterone levels in men are decreasing, according to media reports. Advertising portrays women as family decision-makers and matriarchal leaders, while men trail the family pack haplessly fumbling with diaper bags.
The demise of masculinity in our social interactions and media trends notches a benchmark in our cultural conditioning. However, I believe the phenomena of the alpha male exists in rare sightings. He is quietly struggling to maintain footing – at least in western culture ablur with electronic squalls of consumerism and egocentric self-righteousness.
It’s a broad and fascinating topic. The alpha man assumes varying identities in every forum; we envision him subjectively, as we desire him to be. Women crave the strength and guidance of a strong male partner but ride the dude-bashing bandwagon in social circles.
Evolutionary psychologists are better equipped to study the demotion of men to lower beta status. I imagine in time, the strong alpha male will reclaim his family authority, his honor, and his rightful place defending the weak and vulnerable during in the zombie apocalypse. While waiting for the hero to reclaim his berth, I’ll share a few thoughts on my fantasy of the contemporary alpha man.
I’m going to quickly buzz through the modern alpha man so I can get to the good stuff – the alpha lover – my fantasy guy!
Recent articles portray the alpha as a Renaissance man: self-disciplined and self-actualized; sincere and emotionally mature; composed, wise, sympathetic, and unyielding in principle. Other characteristics include: confidence; chivalry; respectfulness; protective; ethical; self-assured and unflappable.
He is a natural leader and a dispenser of sage advice. He stands apart from lower order beta males, and he EARNS the respect of colleagues, friends, and family. Alpha males are never complacent; they progressively work to improve situations, troubleshoot problems, and bridge cracks in the concrete.
An alpha male values his health and vitality and takes care of himself, physically and emotionally. He is respected and valued on the job for his strong work ethic and clear head, and he leads by example. This guy assists others in succeeding through positive reinforcement rather than totalitarian rule. In social situations, he is composed, poised, and always in control. He is not loud, attention-seeking, or easily intimidated.
Common traits and characteristics of alpha males easily set them apart from their beta brothers and their reserved composure is striking. There are exceptions. Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt, the alpha Rough Rider cavalry president and big game hunter, was a boisterous man who busted up ironclad monopolies buttressed by billions of dollars.
As a volunteer military man, he charged a section of San Juan Hill in Cuba during the 1898 Spanish American War. Years later, as a third party “Bull Moose” candidate, he ignored an assassin’s bullet lodged in his chest to finish a campaign speech.
The alpha man will authoritatively step up to protect his family and his interests. Mastery of jujitsu or street fighting tactics isn’t necessary as he is skilled in de-escalating tensions through diplomacy and words chosen wisely. But if faced with a physical response, his masculine strength and quick thinking can prevail.
He strives to maximize his talents and prides himself on performance in all matters. Women are so confident in him, that they may take him for granted, yet he treats his partner with admiration and respect without feeling vulnerable.
Though he is bedrock stability in daily life, behind closed doors, he rolls with seismic sexuality.
Like the sexual allure of a bad boy, the alpha male promises a top-shelf romp in the sack. His sexual confidence and skill exudes a seductive aphrodisiac sure to please the most discerning of women. I imagine him bewitching his partner and she can’t resist; locking eyes with him stirs the loins.
He’s horny and he knows exactly the kind of sex he wants. He doesn’t ask permission. He subdues her with kisses, caresses, and powerful hands. He knows the power of conquest and her ache to be desired, taken, and deliberately ravished. He knows how to please a woman. He’s done his homework, honed his technique, and she knows it. She’s a very lucky woman.
This very sexual man will laser-focus his attention on her and she will know she is strongly desired, safe, and goddess sexy.
She is instantly smitten, submissive, and aching for him to touch her there. He talks aggressively to her, bends her head to the side, and kisses her neck while unbuttoning her blouse and unwrapping her body. She shivers slightly as her skin meets the air, then warms to the firm touch of his hands on her arms, shoulders, and back.
He looks directly into her eyes as he kisses her hard, unfastens her bra, and lets it slip away as he lightly slides a finger over her hardening nipple and begins massaging her breast. His cock is hard and he teases her, unbuttoning his pants, slowly pushing them down, revealing his hard, determined, and unforgiving cock.
She reaches toward his groin to touch him, but he pushes her hand away, flips her onto her back, raises her hips, and begins grinding his cock against her ass and throbbing pussy. As she moans in anticipation, he powerfully presses a finger through her panties and into her pussy, slowly circling her wet hole. Reaching under her belly and into her panties, he penetrates her again, deeper, and tells her he’s going to fuck her deep and hard. She is conquered, submissive, and subdued.
…….These are the confident moves of an alpha lover. He doesn’t beg, he seduces. He knows what she wants and he eagerly provides. He never initiates sex lying on his back, expecting cock service from her; she willingly offers it. His strong desire to take her fuels a passion stirring them both to erotic heights, and he fucks with intense creativity. He is the best lover she’ll ever know, and he lingers in her mind, intoxicating her soul.
COPYRIGHT © 2018 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Last fall, I wrote about my observations on the ideal alpha male and tabled the post for additional study.
The topic is too broad to address in general terms, so I picked a few categories to write about: the alpha lifestyle; the alpha lover; and the survival of the species.
I can’t wait to hear the feedback on this topic.
I’ll be back with this post soon and email subscribers will be notified. If you would like to join my email list for notices of new blog postings, send me a quick message to email@example.com. My eyes only – no spam.
Our culture hints that women are “dysfunctional and frigid” if they aren’t having orgasmic sex; yet, it’s statistically atypical and far from the norm. For women pressured with the stresses of work and family, soak-the-bed sex may be their last concern. If they’re indifferent to sex, women may be resistant and suspicious of society’s sexual overtones and propagandized hints of what they’re missing.
Women are quick to blame themselves for lack of orgasm without ever knowing the path to get there. Overall, it’s difficult to engage women in the discussion because sex education ranks low on their priority list. I hope to help change that.
“Veni vidi vici.” – Julius Caesar.
I’m writing this blog because I believe we are under-educated about sexual function and satisfaction and I’m pissed about that. A recovering anorgasmic, I’ve spent a lot of time researching and a fair amount of money subscribing to sexpert advice products learning how to achieve orgasm. It’s not rocket science, but I’ve learned that achieving orgasm for women requires education, personal masturbation, and a patient, willing partner.
I believe that sexual dissatisfaction is grossly under-reported because no one wants to be the odd one out at the fuckfest portrayed in popular media.
I believe that sexual dissatisfaction is grossly under-reported because no one wants to be the odd one out at the fuckfest portrayed in popular media. Pop culture, erotica, and porn portends that everyone’s having incredible orgasmic sex when statistical studies belie the notion.
I’ve proven to myself that chronic anorgasmia is a reversible condition, given the eagerness to learn and a good set of how-to skills. The internet is rife with pertinent sex education and well-intentioned but editorialized advice. Sex is subjective and only empirical to you. There are no cookie-cutter solutions to achieve orgasm, as all women respond differently, but I suggest following tried and tested methods that seem to work for most women.
I intend to write about these subjects, not as an academic, but to subjectively funnel what I’ve learned along the way, e.g., what worked for one sexually repressed, stressed out middle-aged woman.
And, I’m going to jazz things up a bit with seedy, shameful stories of my sexcapades as a blatant satirist preoccupied with a Phyllis Diller complex.
COPYRIGHT © 2019 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Takeaway: If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.
Cunnilingus – the act, the psychology, the pleasure, frustration, and the mystery – men generally like getting head, right? That scintillating touch, stroke, suck, and licking of cock, bringing your member to hard attention, salute. Stimulating thousands of penile nerve endings penetrating deep in your shaft and pulsing the head of your cock. That intense genital stimulation as a precursor to sensual sex…
We assume women also crave those deep vibrations around their vulva and clitoris, stimulating them to intense arousal and begging for penetration. When sucking or stroking a woman’s clit can produce a squealing squirting orgasm, it must be part of the sexual handbook, Foreplay 101. But despite the incredible bliss that a talented tongue and determined fingers can bring, some women just aren’t having it.
Oral Sax lamented his patented cunnilingus techniques that secured his international fame. He uses oral sex as a precursor to exotic sex which primes his partner for orgasm and cements his name among the immortal sex gods. The takeaway is that he enthusiastically enjoys pleasuring women. He attunes himself to a woman’s reaction, direction, and pulls from his bag of tricks to find what works individually.
The best lovers already know this and employ his playbook: learn the skill and adapt your methods to your partner’s likes. Women just like it that way: otherwise, they say, don’t bother.
Curiosity and memories of my own experience with oral sex led me to research female indifference toward it. The same turn-offs were mentioned so often that it’s easy to assemble a short list of grievances in order of frequency: a lover’s talent; her trust (trauma); and her self-consciousness.
“…only harlots and Jezebels enjoy pleasures of the flesh.”
Quickly dispensing with the nuisance religious angle – because only harlots and Jezebels enjoy pleasures of the flesh – did Mary experience heavenly head in her tryst with The Man? Likely censured by frustrated, celibate monks in the 8th Century, the New Testament doesn’t reveal the spiritual pleasures that earthly girl knew.
In the G-rated Bible, the divine romp was written in such nebulous terms that the colossal fuck must be taken on faith alone. To perv the event in literal terms would be lustful, unclean, and scandalous. I don’t know that the Bible makes reference to cunnilingus, but I’m betting Jezebel gave wicked head.
Only Neanderthals skip foreplay when a woman aches for it…
However, imagine a blow job from a disinterested partner going through the motions: no eye contact; no enthusiasm; no creativity; no skills and no friction! Women express the same reaction to lame oral sex, if they even get it at all. Only Neanderthals skip foreplay when a woman aches for it, and the result is a less than optimal sexual experience for her and diminished interest in sex with you.
But if you’re going down there, consider these points from the ladies:
Many women engage in oral sex only to please their partner. If they don’t enjoy it, they’re thinking about work, their shopping list, or another guy. A disinterested partner is an immediate turn-off and a woman will spot this faster than radar. It’s essential that she believes you enjoy her body, her scent, her essence. Without that trust, the odds of her having an orgasm just plummeted.
Unlike patriarchal phallic worship, girls are discouraged from embracing their anatomy. The embarrassment of puberty, menstruation, and breast development are often rife with personal trauma and cultural shaming. A good lover intuitively knows women may be insecure about their bodies and celebrates her goddess attributes.
Some women refuse oral sex to avoid disappointment and embarrassment. Lame cunnilingus is irritating and an endurance chore for many women. Women with body shaming or body image concerns are self-conscious about odor or their genitalia appearance. A woman who doesn’t masturbate doesn’t know which sensations arouse her. Survivors of sexual assault/abuse or domestic violence harbor trust and shame issues which often prevent enjoyment of foreplay, oral sex, and sex in general.
Some women have a very sensitive clitoris and they prefer a light touch. Others are power queens and crave intense stimulation. Some like attention around their entire vulva, the clitoris, the labia, the urethral sponge, their vagina, and anus. Women are hesitant to give direction to their partners about what they like because he/she gets mad or ignores their requests. Explore, ask her what she likes, and unless you’re a Neolithic fugitive, give it to her!
Culturally, women are “givers” in the family and in the relationship. We focus on immediate needs and we are not used to receiving pleasure and being the focus of attention. Keep in mind that many women don’t know how to relax and “receive” foreplay and oral sex. It can be embarrassing to be the focus of attention, especially having your genitalia exposed and open to scrutiny. A key move is to help her relax and compliment her body, her pussy, her taste and scent with sincerity or dirty talk. (Hint: eye contact works wonders here!)
If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.
It boils down to knowing your partner and how she responds to sex: what she likes and what she may be hesitant about. The act is a mental experience for women and she needs to trust that her partner has her best interests In mind and a sincere desire to please her. If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.
The internet is loaded with oral sex and fingering techniques to improve your confidence and skills. If you want to help her surrender to foreplay, you need to master this power play to convince her she is emotionally safe to relax with you and that she will enjoy the experience.
Copyright 2017 - Sexualista - All rights reserved.
As I said, locating, stimulating, and engaging my G-Spot was the epiphany from which all future fucks would be measured. It was through personal masturbation that I found my spot and from there, transitioned into squirting and full-body vaginal orgasms. Orgasm was a personal quest for me – it wasn’t easy. I spent countless hours researching the net, subscribing to sexpert how-to’s, and ultimately benefiting from the patience and persistence of my long-suffering hubby.
For those few women blessed by the sex gods, orgasm “cums” easily. It must be heavenly ordained, intricately woven into their lady bits, chosen by Venus herself to experience the ultimate sexual pleasure. Statistically, a measly 25 percent of women orgasm from penetrative intercourse, and those lucky goddesses usually need clitoral stimulation to get there. Translation: seventy-five percent of women DO NOT orgasm from vaginal sex, according to published studies.
Can you imagine a more disturbing rip-off? Eve, the first bitch of Genesis, is likely to blame for the ultimate ruination of the innate ability for women to orgasm. God snapped his fingers, and poof! Women were figuratively fucked: a wretched crime against humanity surely. I’ve read that nearly half of all relationships suffer from sexual dissatisfaction, and the solution seems out of reach for many couples.
Sexual orgasm is the final frontier for women and their partners. I’m working on a future post about an interesting study involving chronically anorgasmic women. Using therapeutic interventions championed by a pioneering sex therapist, Betty Dodson, some 93 percent of those 550 female participants achieved orgasm during the study. You don’t want to miss this fascinating research.
Getting to the Point
Long story short, this rant grew from a companion post about personal masturbation and my sex chair. Next post: I get raunchy again.
COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
It’s predictable, typical, ordained. Like the certainty of dawn, it happens. You’re doing the nasty while preoccupied with the dishwasher, or your crass boss. Maybe it’s an obnoxious rat terrier barking in the next yard or that fucking speeding ticket: anything, everything but orgasm. For the love of god, end this eternal misery. Five hundred nagging, incessant pings in your brain, and your man wants sex. We did this last year. Is there no end to my earthly suffering? Why in the hell does he insist on licking my vagina?
If this scenario sounds remotely familiar, I’m speaking to you. This is sex for many women. You’re banging her hard. You’re sweating. You work furiously for an existential two minutes, shoot your load, and collapse beside her. She murmurs something congratulatory and darts into the bathroom to pee and rid her pussy of your love gun load.
Sex is a demand response for many women. They don’t enjoy it, they don’t feel sexy, and they’re not talking about it. But consider this: as she runs to the bathroom to pee, it’s possible she was close to ejaculating without realizing it. Sexual stimulation of the female G-spot in the vagina causes the genital area to swell with fluid, and expelling this fluid through the urethra (not the vagina) is female ejaculation.
If the sex education gods cared, we would know this. If we were taught anything about female sexual anatomy and stimulation response, we could’ve been sex goddesses sometime in our prime. Those women truly blessed by the sex gods experience vaginal orgasm naturally, but for most of us lacking this ability, twisted Puritanical thinking and repressive sexual mores keep us ignorant of even the slightest sexual pleasures.
Fast forward to the female G-Spot, located on the top wall of the vagina below the pubic bone, just one or two inches inside the vaginal opening. To those women seeking to experience vaginal orgasm, it’s imperative to make acquaintance with your “G.” Learn to masturbate and awaken the sensations of this area and you will be navigating toward female ejaculation and vaginal orgasm.
COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Coming this week is the second installment of my Masturbation Odyssey, this time focusing on the discovery of my very own G-spot: that erogenous pleasure zone that transforms masturbation and sex into orgasm. If you don’t “do” the G-spot, it’s unlikely that you are having vaginal orgasms, unless you are stimulating a deeper spot of the vagina.
Some doubt its existence, some doubt its importance, but to remain indifferent to the G-spot is to have never discovered it. If you take anything away from Sexualista, I hope it’s an animalistic desire to awaken and trigger this elusive spot of the female anatomy. Every woman deserves this sexual pleasure, but some homework of the masturbation kind is required.
Meantime, I’d like to share a few of my posts on Twitter.com as Sexualista1. Twitter affords me an opportunity to post little snippets of what I’m reading or thinking about on any given day. Too many topics to possibly blog about, so tapping out brief tweets keeps the conversation moving. I hope to stand out from the sexpack, rather than wither away like uninspired oral sex. A few of my recent tweets follow:
Chivalrous guys are a modern marvel and hot as hell. It pays to be a damsel in a tight dress.
We are hungry, curious voyeurs of erotica: hence the profitable feed of romance novels, erotic fiction, and porn. We orgasm vicariously.
A confident alpha male will win the girl. Women anticipate satisfying sex with assertive guys and can’t resist their charms.
A full-body vaginal orgasm convulses the entire core of a woman’s body, causing involuntary spasms and constricts the vagina and the anus.
Reports say sexual dissatisfaction ruins nearly half of all marriages and leads to infidelity in 50% of relationships. Join the conversation.
“…people are in denial of their sexual issues, so the first step to overcoming your sexual repression is to admit it…” – Eyal Matsliah
Most people want to please their sexual partners, but you have to show up and speak up about what turns you on.
No two women will define orgasm the same – women explain it according to their experience and cultural conditioning.
There are few things more pleasurable that tracing your clit with a powerful vibrator then squealing and squirting in rapture! Wow!
Seduce her so well that sucking your cock is HER idea. Never shove it in her face unless you’re the sex god who can make her cum. Boorish.
A sexy, seductive woman is a lovely, feminine creature to watch. She is confident, fearless, and moves like a ballet in your soul.
With a cultural perception that sex should be orgasmic, we fear a label of “dysfunctional,” “frigid,” or “broken”.
A silent partner works in the business world, but it’s a turn-off during sex. Subtle moaning is very sensuous and arousing. Make some noise.
Sexperts assume that women are naturally open to orgasmic stimulation. Transition from sexual repression to liberation is a gigantic leap.
Shopping for a vibrator is a no-brainer. Skip the battery-powered toys and splurge on a more powerful rechargeable model. Viva la orgasm!
The excruciating moment when you’re about to orgasm, and your vibrator quits. Buzzkill. Shoot me now.
Achieving orgasm is the last frontier for many women. For anorgasmic women, achieving orgasm is a pivotal experience.
Sex is subjective and only empirical to you. Question everything. Inquire. Explore. Own it.
Now that lesbianism is the hot norm, bicurious sex among straight men is the new chic. Hot topic among the liberati.
Follow me on Swinglifestyle.com
By Eyal Matsliah
(Re-printed with permission.)
As a sexual empowerment coach, I get to know a lot about what’s happening in people’s bedrooms, and in their minds. When I tell people that I’m a sex coach, some of them get uncomfortable, awkward and evasive. These are educated, intelligent, successful and influential people, so why does the prospect of discussing such a natural part of life evoke such reactions?
After doing this work for over a decade, I’ve had some important insights. I’ve recognized that society has a problem with sex, and as human beings, we have become uniformed, repressive and infantile in our attitude towards sex and sexuality.
Take a moment to reflect on how you feel about sex, sexuality, your body, your genitals, and in turn how you feel about other people’s sexuality, bodies, genitals and sexual expressions. Are you holding on to some shame about sex? Are you dealing with any sexual issues? Do you wish you could be more sexually confident, informed and free? I’d be willing to place a bet that you would answer yes to at least one of those questions.
As the saying goes, there is no smoke without fire. If you want to find the root of the problem, you have to look at its symptoms. After the stifling norms of the 40s and 50s, the sexual revolution of the 1960s brought a new freedom of sexual expression, aided by the pill and women’s rights. The freedom of the 60s spilled over into the 70s, but as the 1980s dawned, the spread of AIDS/HIV brought anxiety, demonization of promiscuity and a wave of self-enforced abstention. Today, as a society, we are once again at odds with our sexuality, and not just when it comes to our sexual relationships, but also how sexuality affects the other aspects of our lives.
The sexual revolution was not a world wide phenomena, and even in the West, it only affected a part of the population. Some religious countries and societies are more outwardly sexually oppressive than others, with women being required to cover their bodies or even their faces, and young boys and girls often subjected to genital mutilation. Sadly, women are punished, excommunicated or even executed for acts that are perceived to dishonour the family name. There are stringent rules around sexual behaviour, and sex before marriage is usually strictly prohibited. Virginity and chastity are virtues. It’s easy to look at such beliefs and think: “That’s so primitive. They are so repressed. We are so open minded and advanced”. But are we really?
Before I move on to Masturbation Odyssey: Part 2 – the journey into my orgasm groove – I’m pausing to ponder where the ladies are hiding. I’m hearing excellent feedback from the guys, but the fems are noticeably absent from the conversation. It’s frequently noted that many women guard their sex lives with armor plating and are reticent to discuss orgasm or masturbation.
Many men have similar reservations. The “sex issue,” so prevalent a flash point among couples, is a complicated thorn and a prickly pear debate. I noted earlier in Sexualista that sexual dissatisfaction is under-reported with many couples because no one wants to be the odd one out at the fuckfest. Mass media portends that orgasmic sex is the benchmark in a culture where 75 percent of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex. Seventy-five percent!
Convulsing, vaginal orgasms are not the norm or even median result of sexual intercourse for three-quarters of women. With a cultural “perception” that all sex should be orgasmic, we fear being labeled “dysfunctional,” “frigid,” or broken. Instead of addressing it, we consume it. We love reading or watching great sex. We are hungry, curious voyeurs of erotic acts: hence the profitable feed of romance novels, erotic fiction, and porn.
The demands on a woman’s time and attention usually preclude any serious study of female anatomy and orgasm how-to’s. Researching G-spot stimulation and masturbation techniques rate low on the bucket list when loved ones are sick, your job sucks, or the dog’s throwing up. Without the time or inclination to research sex education and learn sexual triggers through masturbation, we’re clueless about the orgasmic process and personal sexual needs.
Speaking for many, one woman wrote: “I’m 55 and I’ve never had an orgasm. This sucks!”
The few ladies I’ve heard from report they have never achieved orgasm or they started to experience it later in life with the attention of an interested, attentive partner – a key component, they said, adding it takes time, practice, and a patient partner to help them get there.
It’s a team effort (she AND he) to achieve orgasm. It requires her eager, receptive mind and the right skills to tailor foreplay activity to stimulating her favorite lady bits. Without having a basic game plan for achieving orgasm, she’s 10th row deep at the fuckfest and not talking.
Ladies, trust me, many guys want to sexually please their partners, but you have to show up, speak up, and chart some personal exploration so you can convey with conviction what turns you on.
The gents, meanwhile, are talking. Their perspective is intuitive, sexy, and interesting. Guys I’m hearing from are attuned to women’s sexuality and like to please, but they are sometimes frustrated by women’s lack of sexual prowess, even among more sexually open fems.
A few from the guys:
“It isn’t even so much about women who are sexually open-minded as much as women who are not sexually repressing their preferences. I realize this is a matter of semantics….but to me, suppression means a woman (most women) are actively disallowing themselves to even consider what gets their pussy wet,” said P.
“I get highly turned on by a woman who has total command of her body – her wants and desires and freely expresses herself. Not afraid to say what she wants and more than willing to show me what gets her off and what turns her off,” said V.
“Having that attitude actually turns me on more, wanting to give her exactly what she needs.”
V added: “I have learned over the years when speaking with some of my friends that most guys (only) care about themselves. Basically, the “I got mine – you get yours” attitude. And we wonder why women, sooner than later, get turned off by sex.”