Pleasures of the Flesh

  

Takeaway: If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.

Cunnilingus – the act, the psychology, the pleasure, frustration, and the mystery – men generally like getting head, right? That scintillating touch, stroke, suck, and licking of cock, bringing your member to hard attention, salute. Stimulating thousands of penile nerve endings penetrating deep in your shaft and pulsing the head of your cock. That intense genital stimulation as a precursor to sensual sex…

We assume women also crave those deep vibrations around their vulva and clitoris, stimulating them to intense arousal and begging for penetration. When sucking or stroking a woman’s clit can produce a squealing squirting orgasm, it must be part of the sexual handbook, Foreplay 101. But despite the incredible bliss that a talented tongue and determined fingers can bring, some women just aren’t having it.

Oral Sax lamented his patented cunnilingus techniques that secured his international fame. He uses oral sex as a precursor to exotic sex which primes his partner for orgasm and cements his name among the immortal sex gods. The takeaway is that he enthusiastically enjoys pleasuring women. He attunes himself to a woman’s reaction, direction, and pulls from his bag of tricks to find what works individually.

The best lovers already know this and employ his playbook: learn the skill and adapt your methods to your partner’s likes. Women just like it that way: otherwise, they say, don’t bother.

Curiosity and memories of my own experience with oral sex led me to research female indifference toward it. The same turn-offs were mentioned so often that it’s easy to assemble a short list of grievances in order of frequency: a lover’s talent; her trust (trauma); and her self-consciousness.

“…only harlots and Jezebels enjoy pleasures of the flesh.”

Quickly dispensing with the nuisance religious angle – because only harlots and Jezebels enjoy pleasures of the flesh – did Mary experience heavenly head in her tryst with The Man? Likely censured by frustrated, celibate monks in the 8th Century, the New Testament doesn’t reveal the spiritual pleasures that earthly girl knew.

In the G-rated Bible, the divine romp was written in such nebulous terms that the colossal fuck must be taken on faith alone. To perv the event in literal terms would be lustful, unclean, and scandalous. I don’t know that the Bible makes reference to cunnilingus, but I’m betting Jezebel gave wicked head.

Only Neanderthals skip foreplay when a woman aches for it…

However, imagine a blow job from a disinterested partner going through the motions: no eye contact; no enthusiasm; no creativity; no skills and no friction! Women express the same reaction to lame oral sex, if they even get it at all. Only Neanderthals skip foreplay when a woman aches for it, and the result is a less than optimal sexual experience for her and diminished interest in sex with you.

But if you’re going down there, consider these points from the ladies:

Many women engage in oral sex only to please their partner. If they don’t enjoy it, they’re thinking about work, their shopping list, or another guy. A disinterested partner is an immediate turn-off and a woman will spot this faster than radar. It’s essential that she believes you enjoy her body, her scent, her essence. Without that trust, the odds of her having an orgasm just plummeted.

 

Unlike patriarchal phallic worship, girls are discouraged from  embracing their anatomy. The embarrassment of puberty, menstruation, and breast development are often rife with personal trauma and cultural shaming. A good lover intuitively knows women may be insecure about their bodies and celebrates her goddess attributes.

 

Some women refuse oral sex to avoid disappointment and embarrassment. Lame cunnilingus is irritating and an endurance chore for many women. Women with body shaming or body image concerns are self-conscious about odor or their genitalia appearance. A woman who doesn’t masturbate doesn’t know which sensations arouse her. Survivors of sexual assault/abuse or domestic violence harbor trust and shame issues which often prevent enjoyment of foreplay, oral sex, and sex in general.

 

Some women have a very sensitive clitoris and they prefer a light touch. Others are power queens and crave intense stimulation. Some like attention around their entire vulva, the clitoris, the labia, the urethral sponge, their vagina, and anus. Women are hesitant to give direction to their partners about what they like because he/she gets mad or ignores their requests. Explore, ask her what she likes, and unless you’re a Neolithic fugitive, give it to her!

 

Culturally, women are “givers” in the family and in the relationship. We focus on immediate needs and we are not used to receiving pleasure and being the focus of attention. Keep in mind that many women don’t know how to relax and “receive” foreplay and oral sex. It can be embarrassing to be the focus of attention, especially having your genitalia exposed and open to scrutiny. A key move is to help her relax and compliment her body, her pussy, her taste and scent with sincerity or dirty talk. (Hint: eye contact works wonders here!)

If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.

It boils down to knowing your partner and how she responds to sex: what she likes and what she may be hesitant about. The act is a mental experience for women and she needs to trust that her partner has her best interests In mind and a sincere desire to please her. If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.

The internet is loaded with oral sex and fingering techniques to improve your confidence and skills. If you want to help her surrender to foreplay, you need to master this power play to convince her she is emotionally safe to relax with you and that she will enjoy the experience.

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Copyright 2017 - Sexualista - All rights reserved.

 

Black Friday Super-O!

Aries Blake

Avoiding the retail mayhem, I stayed home on Black Friday and created a little masturbation bustle of my own. After a pleasantly exhausting orgasmic experience with a mythical Mr. X, I think I knew I scored better than any early bird bargain.

On a lifestyle site that morning, I read the profile of Mr. X, a sexy alpha man who left me horny and aching for a strong masculine fuck. His muscular chest and torso pics weakened my knees as did his profile narrative. His experience and confidence triggered sensual fantasies as I imagined him rhythmically fucking me with charisma, creativity, and porn star stamina.

I imagined him seducing me with an intelligent mix of sexy words and electric body touches. His hands caressing my soft skin and reacting to his touch: his eyes, his mouth, those broad shoulders, strong thighs, and the sexy girth of his torso and hips. He was a Harlequin model, only real, tangible, and offering his brand of sexuality to a woman of his choosing.

I often think that optimum sexual satisfaction isn’t meant to be a team sport.

A strong female myself, my fantasy guy is a leading male to overrule and guide me. I sent Mr. X a message saluting his style, confidence, and masculinity, but I also wanted to fuck him as I desired him to be. People rarely measure up to idealized personas in real-time interactions, but fantasy fucks are the next best thing to sexual nirvana and often better than the real deal. I often think that optimum sexual satisfaction isn’t meant to be a team sport.

I set out to prove this on a skittishly sunny Black Friday. Assembling my go-to toy collection for assured orgasms, I also inserted a thick butt plug for internal stimulation. My pussy twitched as I lubed the dildos and plugged in the Hitachi. I was as horny as I’ve ever been and painfully struggled to avoid ramming the closest dildo in my pussy. I needed this fuck, and I wanted to orgasm with an intensity that satiated my raging hormones and throbbing pussy.

I was so intensely aroused that it took little stimulation to reach an orgasmic peak. I lay back on the bed with my ass propped up on towels for optimal G-Spot thrusting and to absorb those errant juices. I thought of him hovering over me, rubbing his hard cock against my public bone, teasing me, grinding on me and slowly moving his cock down to my pussy and taunting me with the head. He ran his hands up my torso and cupped my breasts, kneading them and gently sucking each one as he continued grinding that stiff tool against my vulva.

Imitating his movements, I played with my breasts and slowly bucked my hips to meet his erotic pelvic thrusts. As he slid his mouth down my belly, his fingers lightly grazed my pussy lips and I couldn’t help my involuntary twitch. As I absorbed the moment, his hands grabbed the insides of my thighs and spread my legs wide, exposing my wet lips and boner clit.

Giving in to my now throbbing pussy, I inserted my favorite curved dildo and began stroking my G. His strong hands held my legs apart, his sexy voice and tongue deeply massaged my urethral sponge and he laid hard clitoral passes. My legs were lightly shaking and my pussy was so overwhelmed with desire I was gasping, wide-eyed, and desperate.

“I won’t fuck you now, baby, but I’m giving you a little something to whet your pussy and long for this big cock,” Mr. X said.

“You are more than ready.”

Needing to scream and gush with intensity, I let myself go and waited for release.

He took the glass dildo from my hand and commenced the G-spot massage, increasing the speed and pressure on my G with each thrust. The G-spot sandwich from the butt plug and the dildo was overwhelmingly pleasurable and created a perfect stimulation pressure. Needing to scream and gush with intensity, I let myself go and waited for release.

Flipping on my vibrator, he pushed it hard against my clit and told me to cum. I was transcendental with excitement as my vagina began to pulsate that surreal aura which precedes a Super O.

The pace of him thrusting the dildo across my G, combined with the internal throb of the vibrator, shot through my pelvis an electrical jolt with an intensity I had yet to experience. I winced and squealed as my legs shook and my pussy convulsed in waves, expelling the butt plug from my ass. My clit raged sharply as I experienced an epic pelvic spasm and an intense vaginal jolt. Jesus god, it was ecstasy!

Mr. X softly rubbed my pussy as I returned to normalcy and gathered my wits: so soft; so assured; so comforting. He grabbed my hip, rolled me onto my side and covered me with a soft blanket. He kissed my cheek and whispered that I had won a Super O from the sex gods’ Black Friday drawing and this visit was just the door prize.

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Copyright 2017 - Sexualista - All rights reserved.

 

Oral Sax Gets Down

Please enjoy the following guest post from Oral Sax: A finalist in the World’s Most Interesting Man auditions, Oral Sax travels the globe seeking high stakes thrills and the most exotic of women. Known as “Oh God!” among women for his sexual prowess, his international playboy status precedes him in every port. Oral is an award-winning adult film star, erotic novelist, and a swingers lifestyle enthusiast. He teaches sexuality skills to elite patrons in Milan, Italy, and he divides most of his time between a set of shapely female thighs and the mons pubis region.

 

By Oral Sax

Having been complimented many times on my oral skills, I thought it might be fun and a bit entertaining to share some of my techniques and comments. This is just one set of techniques and all women don’t appreciate the same style.

Many women won’t let their partner go down on them. I have found that this is usually because they fear that the man does not know what he is doing and they do not want to make him feel bad. Most women think men have a fragile male ego when it comes to giving oral pleasure, so don’t be offended if you get turned down. Tell her you have been reading up on “How To” and ask for her patience and both of you could have a great experience.

The Set Up:

My style is to lay my partner kitty-corner on the bed so her head is supported and she does not run the risk of hitting the head board. This position also gives me some room to lay on the bed while my face is between her legs. I fold a pillow in half, put a towel over it, and prop it under her butt. The towel keeps things relatively dry in the event of a squirt or gush and the folded pillow lifts her butt up enough so I do not get a kink in my neck.

 The Tease:

I ask my partner spread her legs as far apart as she can comfortably. I start by licking the inside of her thighs and pass lightly over the outside of her pussy. I will take my fingernails and lightly touch her tummy and top of her thighs. I will blow some hot breath directly on her pussy.  I will then very lightly bite the outside edges of her pussy (vulva).

The Pre-Pleasure:

The trick here is to get her extremely wet with your mouth and tongue. She will think that she is the one causing the extreme wetness and she will get more turned on.  I run my tongue on the outside of her labia and just tease her clit a little: up and down her labia and getting her very wet. I will locate her clit and lightly tease it with my tongue: this typically is the build-up to her wanting more of a touch.

The Main Event:

Once I have located her clit, I work it lightly until it starts to swell and she is aroused. Then I suck on it and draw it up while releasing it for a second in my suction grip. I repeat this method of sucking and releasing several times to make the clit super engorged. Once engorged, I lick the clit in an upward motion with the palm of my tongue, then touch it with the tip of my tongue, and finish off with a flip of my lower lip.

Typically she will be very aroused by now so you need to read her signs as to how much more she wants.

 The Secret Tricks:

There have been many times when I have loosened my suction grip and I start humming.  Most women have never experienced this. It’s a new sensation for them: the humming vibrations; the slurping sound of a wet pussy; and the touch sensation of your tongue.  The more you are pressed against her pussy, and the more bass you can produce in the hum, will drive her crazy.

I like to shake my head/mouth side to side aggressively while just licking and increasing the volume of the humming – this usually brings a great reaction.

The other thing that I do is to ask my partner to use her hands separate her labia. This accomplishes two things. First, it exposes her clit for some direct attention, however, go gentle at first so she doesn’t remove her hands. Secondly, it gives her one more sensation of feeling your breath and face on her hands and pussy at the same time.

The Simultaneous G-Spot:

While continuing to lick and suck her clit I will reach in and penetrate her pussy with one or two fingers. I start by stroking her G-spot and looking for a reaction. Some women like it gently massaged and stroked while others like me to press upward on the G-spot and hold it while I lick her clit. The challenge here is to hold on as she is usually rocking and rolling by now.

Be Cautious:

When the G-spot action starts, some women will gush or squirt so you had better be ready to duck or get a wet face.  I had one experience where the woman squirted so hard that I ducked and the stream went over my shoulder.

General Info:

I have played with clits smaller than a pencil eraser and have played with several the size of you thumb.  The bigger they are the easier they are to play with.  Most all clits are equal in sensitivity regardless of size.  Oftentimes I will engage the pussy and at the same time pinch her nipples if that is her thing.  I usually get a great reaction when I am sucking and have her nipples between my thumb and middle finger while scratching the top of her nipple with my index finger.

My style is to make the woman cum repeatedly but I always backoff and let them catch their breath between orgasms.  When this happens, she will once again relax after the orgasm and you can start up again but go lightly at first and then build up to another orgasm.

I have found that once they experience multiple orgasms, chances of them climaxing during penetration greatly increase.

__________________

Oral is busy researching and writing his next post on navigating the adult  lifestyle circuit. 

 

Kinkly.com

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Viva La Orgasm!

Until this year, I hadn’t had a full-body vaginal orgasm since college in the ‘80s and I remember it vividly. He was a fellow poet and a singer/guitar player in a band. We palled around the college party/bar circuit, smoked weed, did drugs, hung out on rooftops, and wrote poetry: a fuck buddy to me. A skinny guy with an unexpected long, thick cock: much bigger than I imagined for a slim-framed guy. I liked him and we had the hottest sex of my life at the time.

He could fuck hard and slow for seemingly hours. In a chemical frame of mind, he fucked like a poet, examining every stroke for my reaction. Watching my face as he withdrew just far enough to tease me with slight thrusts in and out, he’d plunge deep and pause as if to surveil my wet pussy. To my delight, he repeated this hot move sufficiently to swell every fold of my vigi till I ached to explode. I was fucking a god!

I remember a deep throbbing stir in my loins as he swirled the head of his cock deep around the back wall of my pussy. He swiftly pulled out, smiling down at me like a master fuck artist, and intently thrust in deep again, probing that pulsing cock around my deep spot like he was tracing the boot of Italy. I lay in a tranquil daze, absorbing and experiencing every inch of him. Soon the sex god emerged and lit me up with a neon wave of sputtering light pulsars. My pussy swallowed his cock as a blaze of electricity radiated through my groin. I gasped, wide eyed and wild; I was a goddess!

“Oh fuck!” he said, closing his eyes and rolling his head back.

“I’m going to cum!”

He pushed deeper into my pussy twice more, convulsing as he came hard and moaned something ethereal. I felt his cock twitching until he finished, sighing his last orgasmic breath. Pulling out and falling beside me, I caught his eye in my quasi-comatose state.

“Wow!!! That was incredible! What the hell did you do?”

Smiling, he said, “That was fucking cool! I came like a bastard and you were so tight!”

That was the first and only orgasm of my life until recently, and I’ll never forget it or my friend the junior sex-god-in-training. We continued to talk poetry and literature, smoke pot, and fuck the night away for a few more years in that oak-lined college haze. A friend to this day, I’ve never asked him if he remembers the night he rocked my world with that curious stellar event.

Thirty years of marriage, two kids, numerous jobs, and too many disappointments later, I thought back to that incredible orgasm and decided I will feel that ecstasy again. I asked my gynecologist if my female parts were in order because I never had orgasms. She assured me I was physically fine, suggested Kegel exercises, and researching orgasms on the net. A sexual neophyte loosed on the net. I would learn. I would masturbate. I would flirt and fuck. Refusing to fail, I set my sights on absorbing all that I could of the elusive female orgasm.

I read voraciously about female sexuality, found my G spot, conquered the tricky process of squirting, and learned the art of orgasm. Female sexual success is a learning process. Very rarely does it cum naturally for women. Don’t believe fictional female orgasm. As we’re led to believe in “Fifty Shades of Grey,” Anastasia came as she lost her virginity to Christian Grey. For most women, that’s a fallacy. Pop culture and fiction leave us feeling inadequate, frigid, broken: as if everyone is having incredible sex but us. Learning to orgasm from sex is an educational process, a personal quest, not the expected result of penetrative sex suggested in popular media.

I’ve read that 75 percent of women do not orgasm from penetrative sex, and those who do, need clitoral stimulation to get there. Many women have never examined their clitoris or located their G spot: those sensitive, rippling pleasure buttons designed solely for sexual pleasure. These key players in female sexual anatomy, once explored and stimulated, will absolutely rock your world and forever alter your sexual experience. And the quintessential art of foreplay, done correctly, is the required element to awaken these hot buttons to produce squirting and vaginal orgasms. It’s a learning process that takes time, patience, and a willing partner.

Women are tragically ripped off by not experiencing the full pleasure of sex; if I can help even one woman to get there…. In Sexualista, I will chronicle my research, observations, and my experiences in learning the art of orgasm. I’ll tell you about my middle-aged sexual journey, starting with masturbation, squirting and vaginal orgasms then my incredible transition into lifestyle sex and sexcapades with my indomitable fuck buddy. There are stories of threesomes, foursomes, orgies, bi-curious sex, and humping dildos in the magic sex chair. It’s been a hell of a ride! Stay tuned. Viva la orgasm!

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