Pleasures of the Flesh

  

Takeaway: If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.

Cunnilingus – the act, the psychology, the pleasure, frustration, and the mystery – men generally like getting head, right? That scintillating touch, stroke, suck, and licking of cock, bringing your member to hard attention, salute. Stimulating thousands of penile nerve endings penetrating deep in your shaft and pulsing the head of your cock. That intense genital stimulation as a precursor to sensual sex…

We assume women also crave those deep vibrations around their vulva and clitoris, stimulating them to intense arousal and begging for penetration. When sucking or stroking a woman’s clit can produce a squealing squirting orgasm, it must be part of the sexual handbook, Foreplay 101. But despite the incredible bliss that a talented tongue and determined fingers can bring, some women just aren’t having it.

Oral Sax lamented his patented cunnilingus techniques that secured his international fame. He uses oral sex as a precursor to exotic sex which primes his partner for orgasm and cements his name among the immortal sex gods. The takeaway is that he enthusiastically enjoys pleasuring women. He attunes himself to a woman’s reaction, direction, and pulls from his bag of tricks to find what works individually.

The best lovers already know this and employ his playbook: learn the skill and adapt your methods to your partner’s likes. Women just like it that way: otherwise, they say, don’t bother.

Curiosity and memories of my own experience with oral sex led me to research female indifference toward it. The same turn-offs were mentioned so often that it’s easy to assemble a short list of grievances in order of frequency: a lover’s talent; her trust (trauma); and her self-consciousness.

“…only harlots and Jezebels enjoy pleasures of the flesh.”

Quickly dispensing with the nuisance religious angle – because only harlots and Jezebels enjoy pleasures of the flesh – did Mary experience heavenly head in her tryst with The Man? Likely censured by frustrated, celibate monks in the 8th Century, the New Testament doesn’t reveal the spiritual pleasures that earthly girl knew.

In the G-rated Bible, the divine romp was written in such nebulous terms that the colossal fuck must be taken on faith alone. To perv the event in literal terms would be lustful, unclean, and scandalous. I don’t know that the Bible makes reference to cunnilingus, but I’m betting Jezebel gave wicked head.

Only Neanderthals skip foreplay when a woman aches for it…

However, imagine a blow job from a disinterested partner going through the motions: no eye contact; no enthusiasm; no creativity; no skills and no friction! Women express the same reaction to lame oral sex, if they even get it at all. Only Neanderthals skip foreplay when a woman aches for it, and the result is a less than optimal sexual experience for her and diminished interest in sex with you.

But if you’re going down there, consider these points from the ladies:

Many women engage in oral sex only to please their partner. If they don’t enjoy it, they’re thinking about work, their shopping list, or another guy. A disinterested partner is an immediate turn-off and a woman will spot this faster than radar. It’s essential that she believes you enjoy her body, her scent, her essence. Without that trust, the odds of her having an orgasm just plummeted.

 

Unlike patriarchal phallic worship, girls are discouraged from  embracing their anatomy. The embarrassment of puberty, menstruation, and breast development are often rife with personal trauma and cultural shaming. A good lover intuitively knows women may be insecure about their bodies and celebrates her goddess attributes.

 

Some women refuse oral sex to avoid disappointment and embarrassment. Lame cunnilingus is irritating and an endurance chore for many women. Women with body shaming or body image concerns are self-conscious about odor or their genitalia appearance. A woman who doesn’t masturbate doesn’t know which sensations arouse her. Survivors of sexual assault/abuse or domestic violence harbor trust and shame issues which often prevent enjoyment of foreplay, oral sex, and sex in general.

 

Some women have a very sensitive clitoris and they prefer a light touch. Others are power queens and crave intense stimulation. Some like attention around their entire vulva, the clitoris, the labia, the urethral sponge, their vagina, and anus. Women are hesitant to give direction to their partners about what they like because he/she gets mad or ignores their requests. Explore, ask her what she likes, and unless you’re a Neolithic fugitive, give it to her!

 

Culturally, women are “givers” in the family and in the relationship. We focus on immediate needs and we are not used to receiving pleasure and being the focus of attention. Keep in mind that many women don’t know how to relax and “receive” foreplay and oral sex. It can be embarrassing to be the focus of attention, especially having your genitalia exposed and open to scrutiny. A key move is to help her relax and compliment her body, her pussy, her taste and scent with sincerity or dirty talk. (Hint: eye contact works wonders here!)

If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.

It boils down to knowing your partner and how she responds to sex: what she likes and what she may be hesitant about. The act is a mental experience for women and she needs to trust that her partner has her best interests In mind and a sincere desire to please her. If you’re a “go through the motion” type of lover, she’ll know this and disengage long before second base.

The internet is loaded with oral sex and fingering techniques to improve your confidence and skills. If you want to help her surrender to foreplay, you need to master this power play to convince her she is emotionally safe to relax with you and that she will enjoy the experience.

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Copyright 2017 - Sexualista - All rights reserved.

 

Oral Sax Gets Down

Please enjoy the following guest post from Oral Sax: A finalist in the World’s Most Interesting Man auditions, Oral Sax travels the globe seeking high stakes thrills and the most exotic of women. Known as “Oh God!” among women for his sexual prowess, his international playboy status precedes him in every port. Oral is an award-winning adult film star, erotic novelist, and a swingers lifestyle enthusiast. He teaches sexuality skills to elite patrons in Milan, Italy, and he divides most of his time between a set of shapely female thighs and the mons pubis region.

 

By Oral Sax

Having been complimented many times on my oral skills, I thought it might be fun and a bit entertaining to share some of my techniques and comments. This is just one set of techniques and all women don’t appreciate the same style.

Many women won’t let their partner go down on them. I have found that this is usually because they fear that the man does not know what he is doing and they do not want to make him feel bad. Most women think men have a fragile male ego when it comes to giving oral pleasure, so don’t be offended if you get turned down. Tell her you have been reading up on “How To” and ask for her patience and both of you could have a great experience.

The Set Up:

My style is to lay my partner kitty-corner on the bed so her head is supported and she does not run the risk of hitting the head board. This position also gives me some room to lay on the bed while my face is between her legs. I fold a pillow in half, put a towel over it, and prop it under her butt. The towel keeps things relatively dry in the event of a squirt or gush and the folded pillow lifts her butt up enough so I do not get a kink in my neck.

 The Tease:

I ask my partner spread her legs as far apart as she can comfortably. I start by licking the inside of her thighs and pass lightly over the outside of her pussy. I will take my fingernails and lightly touch her tummy and top of her thighs. I will blow some hot breath directly on her pussy.  I will then very lightly bite the outside edges of her pussy (vulva).

The Pre-Pleasure:

The trick here is to get her extremely wet with your mouth and tongue. She will think that she is the one causing the extreme wetness and she will get more turned on.  I run my tongue on the outside of her labia and just tease her clit a little: up and down her labia and getting her very wet. I will locate her clit and lightly tease it with my tongue: this typically is the build-up to her wanting more of a touch.

The Main Event:

Once I have located her clit, I work it lightly until it starts to swell and she is aroused. Then I suck on it and draw it up while releasing it for a second in my suction grip. I repeat this method of sucking and releasing several times to make the clit super engorged. Once engorged, I lick the clit in an upward motion with the palm of my tongue, then touch it with the tip of my tongue, and finish off with a flip of my lower lip.

Typically she will be very aroused by now so you need to read her signs as to how much more she wants.

 The Secret Tricks:

There have been many times when I have loosened my suction grip and I start humming.  Most women have never experienced this. It’s a new sensation for them: the humming vibrations; the slurping sound of a wet pussy; and the touch sensation of your tongue.  The more you are pressed against her pussy, and the more bass you can produce in the hum, will drive her crazy.

I like to shake my head/mouth side to side aggressively while just licking and increasing the volume of the humming – this usually brings a great reaction.

The other thing that I do is to ask my partner to use her hands separate her labia. This accomplishes two things. First, it exposes her clit for some direct attention, however, go gentle at first so she doesn’t remove her hands. Secondly, it gives her one more sensation of feeling your breath and face on her hands and pussy at the same time.

The Simultaneous G-Spot:

While continuing to lick and suck her clit I will reach in and penetrate her pussy with one or two fingers. I start by stroking her G-spot and looking for a reaction. Some women like it gently massaged and stroked while others like me to press upward on the G-spot and hold it while I lick her clit. The challenge here is to hold on as she is usually rocking and rolling by now.

Be Cautious:

When the G-spot action starts, some women will gush or squirt so you had better be ready to duck or get a wet face.  I had one experience where the woman squirted so hard that I ducked and the stream went over my shoulder.

General Info:

I have played with clits smaller than a pencil eraser and have played with several the size of you thumb.  The bigger they are the easier they are to play with.  Most all clits are equal in sensitivity regardless of size.  Oftentimes I will engage the pussy and at the same time pinch her nipples if that is her thing.  I usually get a great reaction when I am sucking and have her nipples between my thumb and middle finger while scratching the top of her nipple with my index finger.

My style is to make the woman cum repeatedly but I always backoff and let them catch their breath between orgasms.  When this happens, she will once again relax after the orgasm and you can start up again but go lightly at first and then build up to another orgasm.

I have found that once they experience multiple orgasms, chances of them climaxing during penetration greatly increase.

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Oral is busy researching and writing his next post on navigating the adult  lifestyle circuit.