Oral Sax Gets Down

Please enjoy the following guest post from Oral Sax: A finalist in the World’s Most Interesting Man auditions, Oral Sax travels the globe seeking high stakes thrills and the most exotic of women. Known as “Oh God!” among women for his sexual prowess, his international playboy status precedes him in every port. Oral is an award-winning adult film star, erotic novelist, and a swingers lifestyle enthusiast. He teaches sexuality skills to elite patrons in Milan, Italy, and he divides most of his time between a set of shapely female thighs and the mons pubis region.

 

By Oral Sax

Having been complimented many times on my oral skills, I thought it might be fun and a bit entertaining to share some of my techniques and comments. This is just one set of techniques and all women don’t appreciate the same style.

Many women won’t let their partner go down on them. I have found that this is usually because they fear that the man does not know what he is doing and they do not want to make him feel bad. Most women think men have a fragile male ego when it comes to giving oral pleasure, so don’t be offended if you get turned down. Tell her you have been reading up on “How To” and ask for her patience and both of you could have a great experience.

The Set Up:

My style is to lay my partner kitty-corner on the bed so her head is supported and she does not run the risk of hitting the head board. This position also gives me some room to lay on the bed while my face is between her legs. I fold a pillow in half, put a towel over it, and prop it under her butt. The towel keeps things relatively dry in the event of a squirt or gush and the folded pillow lifts her butt up enough so I do not get a kink in my neck.

 The Tease:

I ask my partner spread her legs as far apart as she can comfortably. I start by licking the inside of her thighs and pass lightly over the outside of her pussy. I will take my fingernails and lightly touch her tummy and top of her thighs. I will blow some hot breath directly on her pussy.  I will then very lightly bite the outside edges of her pussy (vulva).

The Pre-Pleasure:

The trick here is to get her extremely wet with your mouth and tongue. She will think that she is the one causing the extreme wetness and she will get more turned on.  I run my tongue on the outside of her labia and just tease her clit a little: up and down her labia and getting her very wet. I will locate her clit and lightly tease it with my tongue: this typically is the build-up to her wanting more of a touch.

The Main Event:

Once I have located her clit, I work it lightly until it starts to swell and she is aroused. Then I suck on it and draw it up while releasing it for a second in my suction grip. I repeat this method of sucking and releasing several times to make the clit super engorged. Once engorged, I lick the clit in an upward motion with the palm of my tongue, then touch it with the tip of my tongue, and finish off with a flip of my lower lip.

Typically she will be very aroused by now so you need to read her signs as to how much more she wants.

 The Secret Tricks:

There have been many times when I have loosened my suction grip and I start humming.  Most women have never experienced this. It’s a new sensation for them: the humming vibrations; the slurping sound of a wet pussy; and the touch sensation of your tongue.  The more you are pressed against her pussy, and the more bass you can produce in the hum, will drive her crazy.

I like to shake my head/mouth side to side aggressively while just licking and increasing the volume of the humming – this usually brings a great reaction.

The other thing that I do is to ask my partner to use her hands separate her labia. This accomplishes two things. First, it exposes her clit for some direct attention, however, go gentle at first so she doesn’t remove her hands. Secondly, it gives her one more sensation of feeling your breath and face on her hands and pussy at the same time.

The Simultaneous G-Spot:

While continuing to lick and suck her clit I will reach in and penetrate her pussy with one or two fingers. I start by stroking her G-spot and looking for a reaction. Some women like it gently massaged and stroked while others like me to press upward on the G-spot and hold it while I lick her clit. The challenge here is to hold on as she is usually rocking and rolling by now.

Be Cautious:

When the G-spot action starts, some women will gush or squirt so you had better be ready to duck or get a wet face.  I had one experience where the woman squirted so hard that I ducked and the stream went over my shoulder.

General Info:

I have played with clits smaller than a pencil eraser and have played with several the size of you thumb.  The bigger they are the easier they are to play with.  Most all clits are equal in sensitivity regardless of size.  Oftentimes I will engage the pussy and at the same time pinch her nipples if that is her thing.  I usually get a great reaction when I am sucking and have her nipples between my thumb and middle finger while scratching the top of her nipple with my index finger.

My style is to make the woman cum repeatedly but I always backoff and let them catch their breath between orgasms.  When this happens, she will once again relax after the orgasm and you can start up again but go lightly at first and then build up to another orgasm.

I have found that once they experience multiple orgasms, chances of them climaxing during penetration greatly increase.

__________________

Oral is busy researching and writing his next post on navigating the adult  lifestyle circuit. 

 

From the Mail Room

Aries Blake

 

I’m very encouraged by the feedback I hear from readers. Some folks appreciate the sex education information while others (I’ve been told) cream their jeans reading the erotic details. I like to share a few reader emails occasionally because their comments may hit home with other people pondering similar issues. As usual, the guys are more vocal than women, but I’m hearing from more femmes now and it’s very liberating.

Takeaways: It’s not entirely “his” fault if she doesn’t orgasm. Never give up on experiencing orgasm. For many women, it happens later in life.

A few items from the mailbag:                   

A female Twitter follower: “Love your blog, and your directness, knowledge, and honesty are refreshing. What you’re doing is so important, and I hope woman….young and old…..find their way to your blog (and of course men also). I am 60, and am only now discovering how to have vaginal orgasms, what “squirting” feels like etc. Oh I could go on and on about the difference in attitude, sexual desire/indifference at this stage of life as compared to the years raising a family.  Cheers to you for your research and ability to so eloquently share with all who are interested.” – L

Reader comment: “For most guys, we are blind to what women desire, and seriously lack in communication skills. So we turn to porn and reading blogs like your own. When it comes to women, there is still a very strong stigma saying they shouldn’t explore themselves. Or they are simply ignorant to find out there is more to their sexuality than they think.” – F

A male swinger, wrote: “My initial reaction to the blog (Sexualista) was: wow! Here is a brave soul. Someone willing to write (which, in itself is a bold step) candidly on a subject that most people want to ignore. Many people can write about sex, but usually that slides into erotica. While that is useful and fun, it is not completely honest. And I appreciate your honesty.

“I also appreciate your quest for orgasm and the quest to educate others about it. It really is a noble goal (and could be a ton fun trying to achieve it!). It’s funny. I got into the (swinger) lifestyle because I love sex. But I’m beginning to realize that the bigger motivation is to learn how to please a woman and to explore my kinks, and sexuality.

“It was always easy to blame lack of sex at home on my wife’s low sex drive. But if I enjoy sex so much, why isn’t my wife? Probably because it’s not worth her time and that is where I come in. I need to be better. Open her world. Show her possibilities. Push her to incredible limits, and beyond.

“It is so hard, however, because my wife – and other lovers – don’t want to hurt me. They’ll tell me I was wonderful. I was great. But the truth is they are being nice and it’s not helping anyone. I love to please. Love it. If two people are engaged in hot, erotic, sweaty sex that brings them both to mind blowing orgasm, everyone’s happy, right? So, therefore, I appreciate your blog. It speaks the truth I am seeking.” – G

Frequently quoted reader: I see you have added to your Valkyrie blog. It is absolutely fantastic and erotic… I also have much admiration for you and your pursuit to regularly achieve orgasms. The percentage of women who can do that or are willing to pursue it must be very very small. Hopefully others will get inspiration from your endeavor.

From a man’s perspective your writing has given me valuable insight that typically is not readily discussed between partners … 1. That it isn’t necessarily my fault if I couldn’t get a woman to orgasm. It requires practice and a knowledge of their own body to achieve orgasms.

2. There’s different types of orgasm based on different stimulation. 3. The very descriptive narrative of your mind blowing orgasm in your last post provides a perspective not readily available to men, also very hot! I wouldn’t say it’s a how to, but definitely gives me ideas of where I want to experiment.

“Besides all that I love your writing style. It’s an interesting combination of education and erotica. After this topic is mastered, I look forward to your next. Want to give any hints?” – C

 ____________________________

Please post any comments you might have or send me your confidential email address – my eyes only – if you would like notification of future blog posts.

I would love to hear your suggestions for future blog topics or if you want to trade innocuous barbs, I’m all ears.  I’m happy to answer any questions you might have or just trade hot, torrid stories.

Callme@sexualista.net

 

Copyright © 2016-2017 Sexualista. All rights reserved.

“Are We Sexually Repressed and Don’t Know It?”

By Eyal Matsliah

(Re-printed with permission.)

As a sexual empowerment coach, I get to know a lot about what’s happening in people’s bedrooms, and in their minds. When I tell people that I’m a sex coach, some of them get uncomfortable, awkward and evasive. These are educated, intelligent, successful and influential people, so why does the prospect of discussing such a natural part of life evoke such reactions?

After doing this work for over a decade, I’ve had some important insights. I’ve recognized that society has a problem with sex, and as human beings, we have become uniformed, repressive and infantile in our attitude towards sex and sexuality.

Take a moment to reflect on how you feel about sex, sexuality, your body, your genitals, and in turn how you feel about other people’s sexuality, bodies, genitals and sexual expressions. Are you holding on to some shame about sex? Are you dealing with any sexual issues? Do you wish you could be more sexually confident, informed and free? I’d be willing to place a bet that you would answer yes to at least one of those questions.

As the saying goes, there is no smoke without fire. If you want to find the root of the problem, you have to look at its symptoms. After the stifling norms of the 40s and 50s, the sexual revolution of the 1960s brought a new freedom of sexual expression, aided by the pill and women’s rights. The freedom of the 60s spilled over into the 70s, but as the 1980s dawned, the spread of AIDS/HIV brought anxiety, demonization of promiscuity and a wave of self-enforced abstention. Today, as a society, we are once again at odds with our sexuality, and not just when it comes to our sexual relationships, but also how sexuality affects the other aspects of our lives.

The sexual revolution was not a world wide phenomena, and even in the West, it only affected a part of the population. Some religious countries and societies are more outwardly sexually oppressive than others, with women being required to cover their bodies or even their faces, and young boys and girls often subjected to genital mutilation. Sadly, women are punished, excommunicated or even executed for acts that are perceived to dishonour the family name. There are stringent rules around sexual behaviour, and sex before marriage is usually strictly prohibited. Virginity and chastity are virtues. It’s easy to look at such beliefs and think: “That’s so primitive. They are so repressed. We are so open minded and advanced”. But are we really?

Continue reading:  

Are we sexually repressed and don’t know it?