Ride of the Valkyries

Brunnhilde the Valkyrie, 1910, by Robert Conrad
Brunnhilde the Valkyrie, 1910, by Arthur Rackham

Musical prelude: Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries

My orgasmic experience in the sex chair was lovely and fierce: an exhilarating liberation of the shame I felt as a non-orgasmic femme. Like a warrior Valkyrie, off to Valhalla I metaphorically sent my fear of sexual dysfunction and with it, my chronic anorgasmia.

As I focused on personal orgasmic quests, I experienced minor tremors riding a dildo fastened to the toilet seat lid. But it required some prep time, and I’m always running late. Most euphoric sex requires sufficient stimulation of the lady bits to engorge and prepare the clitoris and vagina for orgasmic contact. I experimented with methods to achieve stronger orgasms with less masturbation time, but knew my clit would not be denied.

My modus operandi was the use of a powerful vibrator pressed to my clit and teasingly around the perimeter of my vulva. I squealed when I pressed down on the hood of my clit and forced it to the left side of my labia.

This Swiss movement sent ripples of excitement down the internal wishbone shaft of my clit and excited my vaginal opening. After several minutes of intense clit stimulation, I massaged the length of my pussy lips with the vibrator and began circling my vigi. When I could no longer withstand the aching need, I slid the screaming vibrator into my pussy and paused to experience the tingling full-genital sensation.

I steadily rode that cock till vaginal orgasm claimed my pelvic nerves and all of my conscious senses.

 

Often, clit stim alone caused me to cum multiple times before navigating toward my pussy, and once anchored in that wet port, I was sufficiently swelled and ached for that thick dildo fuck. I slowly lowered myself onto the dildo, feeling it stretching my pussy and spreading my insides wide. I steadily rode that cock till vaginal orgasm claimed my pelvic nerves and all of my conscious senses.

I knew I had experienced a mild vaginal orgasm, and I recognized the importance of prolonged genital stimulation in facilitating sexual nirvana, but I remained unsatisfied. I longed for an explosive full-body orgasm that exponentially increased my experience.

I excelled in toilet-dong-riding, but my mechanics were flawed. The physical riding strength required for orgasm often exceeded my mortal abilities. I needed to save my thighs the arduous and exhausting thrusting needed to power my pussy sufficiently over the edge. I longed for an improved masturbation method that cut preparation time, yet still delivered a full-body convulsive experience.

Employing the Yankee ingenuity often required for significant discovery lead me to orgasmic mechanical success. Combining the aforementioned George Foreman Grille, a simple sex chair, and my favorite dildo enabled me to break free of terra firma and ride triumphantly among the mythical Valkyries.

Favorite dildo: Fun Factory Tiger – Eden Fantasys

I attached my favorite dildo to the plastic lid of the George Foreman Grille and slid the apparatus under my sex chair. I appropriately lubed the dong, caressed it as I would a hand-job on a hard cock, and fantasized about my imminent fuck-in-waiting. And now that I was easily squirting from clit or G-spot stimulation, I could forego the extensive foreplay previously needed to plateau.

With vibrator in hand, I spread my legs, sat down, and started rubbing the standing dildo around my pussy lips. I thought of my lover’s cock and my vigi twitched in anticipation. I quickly pushed the dong into my eager place and lowered my throbbing pussy onto it. The rush of that cock sliding deep inside me, spreading me wide and stimulating every inch of my vagina was extraordinary. So full, so invasively deep, I moaned and paused my descent when the dildo reached my deep spot.

A fuck this extraordinary had to be savored and enhanced, elevating it to the epiphany I sought. Applying the vibrator to my clit against the fullness of the balls-deep dildo triggered the urge to ride: a primordial need to fuck hard, fast, and deliberately. I began bouncing, riding, and grinding that cock till I slipped into a Zen meditative state. The vibrations saturated my pelvic region as I slowly gained speed, the angle I needed, and the exact physics I sought.

Caught between consciousness and the surreal, I was bewitched by the aura of a pending full-body vaginal orgasm.

 

After a vigorous 15-minute ride, something incredible was evolving. The deep, internal throb of the vibe, combined with an exact, consistent thrusting motion, set my vaginal wall abuzz. With head thrown back, mouth ajar, and eyes watering, I felt a divine flush, absolute bliss, and an uncontrollable urge. Caught between consciousness and the surreal, I was bewitched by the aura of a pending full-body vaginal orgasm. I squeezed my PC muscle hard and immediately succumbed to a frenetic series of muscle spasms, all of which were beyond my control.

The internal tendrils of my clitoris erupted at my pussy, grew in intensity, and electrified my vulva before turning inward and jarring my vaginal walls with an epic spasm. I sat squealing and helpless as my legs shook and the jolt exploded every genital member and rushed deep into my pelvis.

My pussy and ass convulsed two or three times as I danced the phenomenon that overtook and exorcised my body. Convulsing in waves of impulses, my body shook like a rag doll. Enraptured, astonished, and paralyzed against it, I had experienced an out of body, extra-sensory experience.

The aftershock stunned me briefly. I melted into my chair in an exhausted heap: awestruck, limp, exalted – a goddess. Venus had granted the sublime, ethereal gift, and my glazed eyes saw the Valkyries.

COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Get your own Tiger at Eden Fantasys! See my Affiliates page for a link. 

Dildo Riding and the Sex Chair

The art of chair-based dildo riding.

Before scoring a near 100 percent success rate in achieving vaginal orgasm in my sex chair, I experimented with several dildo riding techniques with various results. I found that attaching a dildo to the toilet lid was the most successful mount for me, and it was my go-to masturbation method for a while. But it had its foibles.

In time, and getting cocky (pun intended), I tried to cut corners and spend less time stimulating my clit and vigi and aim straight for the prize. Consequently, I experienced fewer orgasms, demonic frustration, and squished the lactic acid out of my thighs.

I needed a new masturbation technique: a fool-proof method to get me there while reducing the (so-far) necessary 15 minutes of clit/vigi stimulation to reach a climactic plateau. I knew the up and down riding motion was the vaginal stimulation I needed, but my middle-aged thighs often failed me at the cusp of the divine goal. Shoot me now in my epic anguish.

I needed help in a mechanical way and I knew a simple compound machine may resolve my relentless sexual angst and orgasm envy. I talked long-suffering hubby into buying me a sex chair: a simple frame stool of bended metal, traversed by elastic bands. Logically, the rider deposits his or her ass on the contraption and bounces toward sexual nirvana.

Designed for partner use in achieving near zero-gravity sexual positions, the sex chair is a useful tool for female riders, threesome fun, or oral sex of nearly any anatomical combination. The elastic bands afford endless opportunities for contortionist or kinky sex play while saving the quads those exhausting workouts achievable only by world-class gymnasts.

My goal was in reach. I needed a companion piece to the sex stool to achieve my intended result – a raised flat surface suitable for hosting a dildo with a suction base. In a crazed frenzy, I searched the four corners of my house for a portable smooth surface where I could launch my new masturbation experiment.

Fast forward into the kitchen. As I labored and sweat those dreadful 15 minutes cooking chicken breasts in the George Foreman Grille, it hit me. The answer to my exhaustive search – the perilous exploration of closets and the scientific excavation of the garage – lay directly in front of me.

Casting a reflective glint of the setting sun through the kitchen window, lay the holy grail of sex toys – the Nobel Prize of masturbation technology – a smooth surface necessary for dildo suction bases. Assuming center stage of my masturbation repertoire, the glorious plastic bun warmer cover of my George Foreman Grille completed my sex machine.

My dildo attached perfectly to the plastic lid of the grille which I clamped down with a bungee cord. Sliding the contraption under the sex stool, I was ready to climb aboard and bounce like a maniac. I had created a perfect  masturbation machine for my needs and in the process, forever altered my chronic anorgasmic state.

After a brief intermission, I’ll return to describe vaginal orgasm as I experienced it riding on George’s coattails.

COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

 

 

Yankee Ingenuity

After pinpointing my G-spot, the next step, naturally, was to lavishly entertain it. Research and development of a sustainable masturbation technique was a rigorous, fatiguing, and sometimes riotous process. But seek and ye shall find.

Masturbation tool kit. – Aries Blake

I experimented with known masturbation techniques to little avail. Fucking your pussy with a dildo on the bed is fun until carpel tunnel kills the buzz. Riding a dildo stuck to the floor or shower wall is for 18 year-old gymnasts and contortionists respectively. Riding a dildo attached to the toilet seat can and does cause orgasms in the rider. This method, however, requires the quad strength of a power lifter and my best squatting days are vague memories.

After an exhaustive period of trial and error, I haphazardly employed an ingenious use for the iconic George Foreman Grille in my masturbation repertoire.  The grille’s plastic lid, that simple three-cent piece of petrochemical engineering, now held the power of my orgasm. My pet name for this new giver of pleasure was “The Vaginator,” and my idolatrous devotion was complete.

Stay tuned; on Monday, I will reveal homespun technology for combining a simple cooking machine and a sex chair to facilitate powerful vaginal orgasms.

COPYRIGHT © 2016-2017 – SEXUALISTA – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED